Friday, October 22, 2010

Tripp Stryker's guide to being a successful Hollywood blogger

The Bitter Script Reader has taken an abrupt vacation. In his place is the Jason Todd to his Dick Grayson: Tripp Stryker.

Hey there, Stryke-Team! Today I want to step back from the industry side of things and tell you exactly how you can start your own highly successful and well-regarded screenwriting blog.

What's that you say? "Tripp, what advice could you possibly offer about blogging? You're just an occasional guest blogger here and you don't even have your own blog!" Oh please. If actual practical experience in a field was necessary before giving advice about it, then that would mean that Julie Grey doesn't know shit about screenwriting. And that can't possibly be right.

Use Tumblr, not Blogger or Wordpress. Tumblr blogs tend to be shorter, so you don't need to kill yourself with content. Three or four sentences a post should do it. Remember, being a good blogger isn't about content, it's about branding.

Have a catchy title that gets Google hits. That's how I started my first blog "Megan Fox Angelina Jolie sexy naked Lost Bieber."

Multi-platform. Better still, start a Twitter account first, then launch your blog. This way your blog counts as an adaptation and you can say it's "Based on the smash-hit Twitter account!" Also, you need social networking, so don't neglect Friendster and MySpace. Tweet at least once an hour to remind people to check your blog.

If you're hot, put up a picture. This is a no-brainer if you're a girl. I've seen at least one screenwriting blog where below her picture, the writer put that she doesn't date anyone she meets from the blog. I'd say that's a pretty good indication that she'd gotten a lot of propositions. Guys like a challenge and so they'll come back daily in an effort to learn as much about you from your blog and find a way they can trick you onto a date. Even if you're in LA and they're in Landsing.

Steal and post copywritten content that doesn't belong to you. This is a no-brainer. Don't worry about the legal ramifications. Studio lawyers always back down in the face of a mob of sycophants and sock puppets arguing how "the man" is always hammering them for taking things they don't own.

Share juicy, gossipy stories that could only have come from you. Don't forget to name names and sign your own name to it. Freedom of speech protects anything you might say on the internet.

Email every other blogger you can find and beg them to link to you and give you a shout out. Don't waste time doing this. You should be knocking on doors as soon as your first post is up. You need people to be reading this from day one.

Insult Joe Eszterhas. Because since it's so obvious every bumfuck screenwriter in Minnesota knows more about building a successful Hollywood career than he does, what could he possibly know about writing for Hollywood?

The views expressed by Mr. Stryker are Mr. Stryker's opinions and may not necessarily reflect the opinions of The Bitter Script Reader, Blogger, or any of affiliated sites linked on the side of the blog.

If you have an issue with Mr. Stryker, the Bitter Script Reader suggests contacting Tripp directly at his Twitter: @TrippStryker or his email address: TrippleThreat69@hotmail.com

4 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. OMG I wish I thought of doing any of those things at my blog www.bambookillers.blogspot.com because those people sound totally rad and I also want to be totally rad. Have you seen my picture?

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  3. These days I don't look at anything unless it's 3D. That includes pictures and scripts. (And I'm not talking any of that post-conversion crap either.) I didn't include that guideline because I know I'm always way ahead of the curve.

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  4. I plan on stealing this post and including lots of gossip about Tripp Stryker and Bitter. Look in your inboxes. I will email you and everyone who's every commented on your blog the link.

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