So the last three weeks have been kind to TOBY IS NOW FOLLOWING YOU on the Black List site. I just got my 16th rating, half of which are 8s and two of which are 9s. My average is 7.5 and I have 45 unique downloads from the site. That's very promising considering the script has mostly only been promoted through this earlier post and my Twitter feed.
In terms of the stats, 45 downloads is really good. According to the Black List's stats for their first year, only 15 scripts were downloaded 50 times or more. The next lowest stat they reveal is that 122 screenplays had 20 or greater unique downloads, which would seem to indicate that at least as far as exposure, TOBY's in some pretty good company. (In case you're curious 2744 screenplays were downloaded at least once last year.)
Also, TOBY is currently #1 on both the Top Unrepresented and Top Uploaded Lists on the Black List website for the Month to Date, #2 on both for the Quarter to Date, and #4 on the Top Unrepresented for the Year to Date. It's #6 Year to Date on the Top Uploaded List.
I'll do a more complete data dump on TOBY once I conclude hosting, if that interests those of you who might be curious about how the numbers break down week-to-week. I'm already setting up meetings for after the holiday break.
This feels like a good time for another pay-it-forward post. Same rules as last time - if you have a script currently hosted on the Black List (and one that will be up for at least another week, preferably two), leave your logline in the comments between midnight and 11:59pm on December 31st. That's 24 hours. When we enter 2014, you've missed the deadline - no exceptions.
Pay attention, because this is important - your logline must sell me on the script. The only submissions I will read will be those with loglines that interest me, just as if you were sending me a query. It might be a good idea to look through the comments on this earlier post, where I gave notes on every logline that was submitted. It could give you a good indication of what I respond to in a pitch, as would this post on the 8 scripts I selected last time.
The genres I'm most like to respond to are action, rom-com, horror, comedy, thriller and anything "high concept." What am I less likely to be drawn to? Period pieces and torture porn. So keep that in mind if you're considering joining the Black List just to take advantage of this opportunity.
Your comment must include the following - Title, Genre, Logline and a link to your script's page on the Black List. And remember that a logline is a sentence or a couple sentences. Be concise, don't write me a paragraph. The link to your script's page on the Black List MUST be in the comments. Do not email me. Do not Tweet me. I will ONLY read scripts publicly pointed out here.
My aim is to select the 4 loglines that intrigue me the most and I will read at least the first 15 pages of each of those scripts. In the event that you guys deliver a lot of awesome loglines, I'll consider going over that limit, but they're all going to have to be really good for me to consider giving that much time. I probably will let you know if your logline was or wasn't selected, but I probably won't go into much detail why. Don't take it personally - some ideas aren't for everyone.
I will offer no comments on any of the scripts I didn't finish reading. Don't ask me what you did wrong. Don't ask me for feedback. I doubt I'll have time to respond to everyone, and so to be fair, I will respond to no one.
I will be holding all scripts to the same standards as the material I read for my job. There's no such thing as "good for an amateur" on this scale. Scripts will be judged according to how they measure up to professional submissions.
If I really like your script I will spotlight it in a post on my blog, but know that it would probably have to rate an 8, 9 or a 10 for me to do that. I'll do my best to write a review that sells people on the script. It won't be full coverage, and I won't spoil any major secrets or plot twists. If you want to get a sense of how these read, check out my reviews of MCCARTHY, DEAD CORPS, ALICE OF OZ, CHAMBERS, H8RZ, and WHERE DEATH FOLLOWS.
So good luck, gang. I hope to be very impressed by the submissions in the comments.
P.S. This goes without saying, but I'm not making any claim of who I will pass the script on to and I will not attach myself as a producer or anything. No crazy promises - and no exploitation.
Congrats on your high scores!
ReplyDeleteAre Blacklist-hosted TV pilots eligible for this offer?
Thanks! And good question that I hadn't thought of.
DeleteThere's certainly nothing wrong with submitting a pilot, but just be aware that since TV isn't my area of expertise, it's going to have to be a damn good pitch to get my attention.
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ReplyDeleteTitle: INFIDELITY
ReplyDeleteGenre: Courtroom / Crime / Drama
Logline: An ambitious lawyer's heart, morals, career and relationship is tested when she's seduced and blackmailed into defending an old flame for her best friend's murder.
Link: https://www.blcklst.com/members/scripts/view/13846
Okay, before I dive in with replies to the loglines, I'll say that as a group, these loglines were much better crafted and did a much better job of giving me a sense of what the story was about. So kudos everyone. A lot of my picks for the short list and the eventual top four are going to come down to personal preference.
DeleteThis one tempted me - female protag, clear conflict, solid genre. As a logline I liked it, there just happened to be other loglines I liked more.
Formatting fail. Apologies!
ReplyDeleteTitle: CAN'T MISS PROSPECT
Genre: Sports drama
Logline: When a brain injury calls a surefire pro football prospect’s loyalty to question, he must rise to protect his teammates from their ruthless head coach.
https://www.blcklst.com/members/scripts/view/10821
I'm not sure how I get a brain injury would bring about questions of loyalty. Safety, sure, but that's an odd way to word the conflict. I'm assuming we're dealing with a high school kid who's college-bound but still dealing with his school team, but the way the logline is worded makes that initially unclear. Ultimately, it seems the conflict is between the coach and the player and I'm not sure this logline sets that up as effectively as it could.
DeleteTitle: THE HOTLINE
ReplyDeleteGenre: Comedy, Dark Comedy
Logline: A young humanitarian bent on saving the world loses sight of his goal when he gets caught up in the big business of a for-profit suicide hotline.
Link: https://www.blcklst.com/members/scripts/view/7925
Dark Comedy is a great way to show off a unique voice. I also have to admit I'm intrigued by the potential political incorrectness of the for-profit suicide line. It'll take a deft hand to pull that off correctly, but I admire the balls it takes to make a big swing like that. I can't promise it'll be a Top 4 script, but this is going onto the SHORTLIST
DeleteWell, I don't have a BL hosted script, but just thought I would say congratulations on the scores with Toby so far...and good luck with the script from here on in!
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ReplyDeleteIt'd be easy to just say "period piece. Pass." Part of my ambivilance is that I've not read R&J in a LONG time, so it's going to be hard for me to appreciate anything really clever done with the side characters. Still given the appeal of public domain characters being reimagined, there's always a chance someone will go for it. It's a PASS, but solid logline nonetheless.
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DeleteTitle: CANDOR
ReplyDeleteGenre: Comedy, Dark Comedy
Logline: When a bright, trouble-making high schooler finds out that his parents have been constantly lying to him, he vows to be 100% honest at all times.
Link: https://www.blcklst.com/members/scripts/view/13849
I've gone back and forth on this one. Feels like it could be another YES MAN. I kinda wonder what makes a trouble-maker react to lies by being completely honest. There's also the fact that the conflict is entirely self-generated (as in, if telling the truth cases him trouble, he could just solve everything by not being so forthright.) This one didn't totally sell me.
DeleteTitle: CRITICAL INCIDENT, KENTUCKY
ReplyDeleteGenre: Action Thriller
Logline: When a Mad Bomber takes a hospital in rural Kentucky hostage, Amos, an FBI Agent and a recovering sex addict is pulled back into the high stakes world of hostage negotiation and rescue.
Link: https://blcklst.com/members/scripts/view/13222
Two words took this from being a standard hostage drama to something I was curious about reading. Can you guess what those words were? "Sex addict." I have no idea how that will have a bearing on the hostage situation, but I'm curious enough to put this one on the SHORT LIST.
DeleteTitle: DOMINION
ReplyDeleteGenre: Sci-Fi/Action
Logline: Hunting his rogue partner through ruined, post-earthquake Manhattan, a by-the-book cop is forced to turn to his brutal ex-mentor for help. Leading a small team onto the island, they find themselves caught in the middle of an alien war, and discover that the key to Earth's survival lies with one man; their target.
Link: https://www.blcklst.com/members/scripts/view/9846
Thanks, Bitter. Good luck everyone, and Happy New Year. ;)
This is another one that really tempted me. Clear at setting up its stakes, its goal and the characters. In another batch, this might have gotten a read, but it comes down to there being some really stiff competition here.
DeleteThanks for the feedback!
DeleteTitle: BIG FAT MONEY
ReplyDeleteGenre: Dramedy
Logline: It’s 1977 in Las Vegas. There’s loads of sex, drugs, music, drinking, gambling, giant-sized beds, pool-sized jacuzzis, and king’s ransom sized paychecks. So why isn’t Tommy Prince happy?
Link: https://blcklst.com//members/scripts/view/13370
I feel like I need to know a little more about Tommy before I commit to the script. Good job of establishing the setting, but this one didn't draw me in.
DeleteIn 1977 Las Vegas, former Broadway superstar Tommy Prince works a Las Vegas showroom for a paycheck, accompanied by his “blue” comic buddy, Bucky Rabbitt. Surrounded by ex- and current wives and lovers, showbiz charlatans and overeager critics, he tries to reignite his ebbing creative spark to get back on top.
DeleteMany thanks, BSR. This is a one-hour series pilot. I just changed the "pilot logline" to the first one I posted, and the "series logline" to the second.
DeleteI'm actually near the end of my 2nd BL month and the sluggish downloads has me thinking about pulling my script.
ReplyDeleteTitle: Inferno
Genre: Action-Thriller
Logline: A small town firefighter's violent past comes back to haunt him when a psychopathic militia leader takes over his town during a wildfire.
Link: https://blcklst.com/members/scripts/manage/12028
Unique concept. I can't think of too many films set in a wildfire. I'm not sure this is one for me, though
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ReplyDeleteCongrats on the killer scores!
ReplyDeleteTitle: UnDeath
Genre: Horror
Logline: After being murdered to advance the development of an exclusive golf resort, a mountain man is offered resurrection as an undead killing machine to take revenge. But vengeance is only the beginning...
https://blcklst.com/members/scripts/view/9432
Sounds like a solid, straight-up genre piece. I feel like I've read a few too many like this before, though.
DeleteThanks, Bitter. You actually helped me to craft this logline the last time you did the pay-it-forward thing which may be (hopefully) why it seems familiar. Been using it ever since, so thanks again for that and for this. Rock on, BSR! \m/,
DeleteTitle: BLUEBERRIES
ReplyDeleteGenre: Comedy, Dark Comedy, Dramatic Comedy, Drama
Logline: After the death of his fiancé, Michael's promise to his sister that he won't kill himself leads to a day to day struggle to find meaning in life.
Link: https://www.blcklst.com/members/scripts/view/12212
I was hesitant to post this one (I'm predicting I've got a 'NOT FOR ME' coming...). But an earlier draft did get two 8s on The Black List, and this is definitely a stronger version.
The mix of genres concerns me. You've got comedy, drama, dark comedy and dramatic comedy all rolled together with drama. I see the value in tagging all of them so that it shows up on more lists, but I also feel like it might also point to a muddled tone. A drama about suicide is going to play VERY differently from a comedy about suicide, or a dark comedy about suicide.
DeleteI almost shortlisted this one, but I wasn't quite sold.
No joke, I almost added this quote from a BL paid review "The darkly comic tone is dead-on and consistent throughout" after reading your previous feedback. Very cool that you're still doing these though, good luck with everything.
DeleteTitle: IN CASE OF RAPTURE
ReplyDeleteGenre: Drama
Logline: When a traveling evangelist convinces him that the world is coming to an end, a desperate farmer gives away all his possessions and climbs to the roof of his barn to await the coming apocalypse.
https://blcklst.com/members/scripts/view/10667
Another drama, and my challenge here is empathizing with someone foolish enough to fall for an evangelist. In a comedy, maybe I could. Played straight? Not sure I'm up for 120 pages of it.
DeleteCongrats! Congrats! Congrats! And you've made me think about posting one of my scripts one more time on Blacklist....I had a terrible thing happen---I fell in love with my characters and I want to see them come to life, but I'm not sure the story carries them---I've rewritten about 10 times and tried to correct everything mentioned by readers....maybe I should try one more time, then put it away for a year or so to gain perspective? But maybe this last rewrite will let people connect with them? When I hear people say they want to "write", I feel like asking them if they are crazy and enjoy being kept awake at night, figuring out plot points? Anyway, will check out the latest deal on Blacklist script hosting! Thx, Bitter!
ReplyDeleteTitle: HOLLYWOOD LOST
ReplyDeleteGenre: Period Drama (a good period drama!)
Logline: Based on the true story of actor David Bacon, who, after being cast in Howard Hughes’ western 'The Outlaw,' is swept up in a turbulent affair with the rich eccentric, resulting in dire consequences.
Thanks and Happy New Year.
https://blcklst.com/members/scripts/view/9420
DeleteNot really feeling this one. Period drama's a hard-sell. If Bacon or "The Outlaw" were more famous, maybe I could see more appeal in this.
DeleteTitle: SKYJACKERS
ReplyDeleteGenre: Action
Logline: A disgraced Air Force pilot is given the opportunity to join a group of sky pirates, who use jet packs to steal millions from planes in flight. But she discovers the head of the organization has a far darker goal, and she must choose between the family she never had or a global nuclear war.
Link: https://www.blcklst.com/members/scripts/view/13077
Thanks, Bitter!
Okay, I'm intrigued. The nuclear war thing at the end could be a huge misfire or it could be an awesome twist. I'm digging on the sky pirates concept, though. This gets the SHORT LIST.
DeleteTitle: The Squire
ReplyDeleteGenre: Family Drama, Coming of Age, Man-Cry
Logline: An imaginative young boy enlists the help of a reclusive Iraq War veteran to accomplish four 'feats of bravery' that he believes will save his dying mother.
Written while I was deployed last year, it's been hailed as "...a Nicholl contender" by one of the BlackBoard mods! I also offer a Moon Pie with every read - max three per household.
The Squire
"Written while I was deployed last year" - c'mon, that's not playing fair! How can I turn down someone who found time to write while serving his country? I'm not totally sold on the concept, but I see the potential that your experience could bring a lot of dimension to the Iraq War vet character.
DeleteI can't promise it'll be Top 4, but you've made the SHORT LIST.
Please read it, my abandoned "military-brat" children are counting on me scoring a deal and getting out of the Navy. LOL. Only kidding.
DeleteTrust me, the concept is solid. It's an easy read and you'll enjoy it. If legitimately hate it, I'll buy you an entire BOX of Moonpies - from SAM'S CLUB!!! That's like 90 of them!
Title: 3 CHERRY
ReplyDeleteGenre: Kill the Cat
Logline: On her first homicide call, a grimly fucking unsympathetic cop shoots a child. Then shit gets worse. (Now, with a moment of redemption!)
https://blcklst.com/members/scripts/view/13663
The logline feels a little too self-aware and cryptic for me. I'd like a little more sense of what "worse" means.
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ReplyDeleteTitle: DOVETAIL
ReplyDeleteGenre: Dark Comedy/Drama
Logline: Plagued by spider-ridden nightmares, a baseball bat-wielding college grad struggles to control his violent side, until an unexpected encounter presents a new set of challenges.
https://blcklst.com/members/scripts/view/8243
Congrats on all your success with the Blacklist so far!
The transition from nightmares to controlling violent impulses is a little sudden and adding an "unexpected encounter" to the mix muddies the pitch more unless you're willing to give us more of a sense of the challenges it provokes.
DeleteTitle: FIREWAKE
ReplyDeleteGenre: Science Fiction, Action
Logline: An uptight detective unicorn and his rookie partner must fight corrupt bosses and deadly minions when their loved ones are kidnapped by a psychotic mastermind on a quest for world domination.
Link: https://blcklst.com/members/scripts/view/11813
I bit weird, I know. But I've improved it quite a bit since I first put it up, and have been getting better and better feedback.
"detective unicorn?" Points for imagination, but when the logline gets *that* out-there, I'm usually going to leave it to someone else to read and let me know if it's good. If this got a Black List review of 8 or above I might be more inclined to read it.
DeleteTotally understand.
DeleteI'll keep working, and try to aim for that level. A pilot of mine got a 7 on the Black List, so I think it's worth it for keep at it.
Happy New Year. I will continue to be a faithful reader of your blog.
Title: BLUE
ReplyDeleteGenre: Sci-Fi, Action
Logline: A repentant superhero-turned-conqueror decides to free Manhattan from his former allies with the help of a resistance leader and an alien-invader-turned-ally who both want him dead.
Link: https://blcklst.com/members/scripts/view/11871
Think Power Rangers, but bleaker, and with a dirty '80s sci-fi aesthetic. Also, the "alien-invader-turned-ally" is vintage David Bowie.
I don't know if I'm feeling this one. It sounds like too much of a throwback, with the 80s aesthetic and a David Bowie-esque villan.
DeleteTitle: BOBBY BOTELLI, G.M.
ReplyDeleteGenre: TV Pilot, Comedy / Dramedy
Series Logline: A brilliant 15 year-old is named the general manager of a struggling professional basketball franchise.
Pilot Logline: Having just graduated from Harvard, 15 year-old Bobby Botelli is thrust into the job of general manager of the Southern California Seals professional basketball franchise and finds information from an unorthodox source that may help improve his team on his first day on the job.
https://www.blcklst.com/members/scripts/read/13562
DOOGIE HOWSER M.D. meets LITTLE BIG LEAGUE. It's high concept, but I'm not totally sold on what it's selling.
DeleteCongrats on your script BSR! I really enjoyed it and I think your voice came across really strong, especially with your female characters. For your consideration...
ReplyDeleteTitle: NARCOSIS
After their boat is pulled to the bottom of the ocean by a vengeful entity, a Father, his terminal son and a deranged dive captain must find their way back to the surface while suffering from nitrogen narcosis and a boat that is steadily filling with water. “The Descent” meets “Jacob’s Ladder” on the ocean floor.
https://www.blcklst.com/members/scripts/view/10945
Contained thriller chock full of ghosts, sharks, treasure. All killer, no filler.
-Cjevy
Love the pitch. Love the tension. Love the setting. I'm in. SHORT LIST
DeleteTitle: PUDDFELLAS
ReplyDeleteGenre: Family Gangster Comedy
Logline: An unpopular sixth grader teams up with eighth grade bullies to sell chocolate "Pudd" in hopes of becoming popular enough to win over the girl of his dreams.
https://blcklst.com/members/scripts/manage/10550
Just doesn't feel like it's for me. I don't know what "Pudd" is and the "family gangster comedy" has me concerned that this'll try to derive humor from the mafia getting involved in a school candy sale. In the right hands, it could be really funny, but the pitch isn't hooking me.
DeleteThanks for the tip on Pudd.
DeleteAnd the thoughtful consideration. Cheers to a great new year.
DeleteTitle: The Song
ReplyDeleteGenre: Drama (Supernatural Love Story) Ghost+Life of Pi
Logline: A successful photographer must find the secret to eternal life before a supernatural stalker claims his soul.
Link: https://blcklst.com/members/scripts/view/10632
Sutinder
I'm not really big on supernatural love stories. A little more unpacking of the eternal life and supernatural stalker concepts could help too.
DeleteTitle: Two Masters
ReplyDeleteGenre: Family Drama
Logline: A driven family-man struggles to forgive his alcoholic brother as the two rebuild their dead father's derelict sailboat.
Link: https://blcklst.com/members/scripts/view/13842
As I've kind of indicated before, I'm not really big on straight-up drama. I've read a lot of them and only a few have made much impression.
DeleteTitle: Mom's Weekend
ReplyDeleteGenre: Comedy
Logline: With aspirations of proving to the world they aren't some boring soccer moms, three mundane women travel to their kids university with the single goal of reclaiming their youth.
https://www.blcklst.com/members/scripts/view/13085
It's a broad comedy, but maybe it could work. I'll put it on the short list for now.
Delete"broad comedy" - heh.
DeleteTitle: AFTER HER
ReplyDeleteGenre: Crime Thriller / Psychological Thriller
Logline: A private investigator takes a case in his first love's hometown hoping to rekindle a decade-old affair, but instead uncovers a deadly secret from the past -- one that puts him at the center of his own investigation.
Link: https://www.blcklst.com/members/scripts/view/12240
Hmm... not really enough detail to draw me into this mystery.
DeleteThanks for that feedback. I'm going with this more detailed logline from now on...
Delete"A decade after breaking up with the only woman he's ever really loved, a private investigator takes a case in her Nantucket hometown hoping to rekindle what they once had. But during the course of the investigation, he discovers that the island harbors a deadly secret -- one that could cost him his life."
Thanks again!
Title: THE FINAL PROTOCOL
ReplyDeleteGenre: Thriller
Logline: Night after night, while he sleeps, details of a top secret research project are being syphoned from his memory, but pieces of personal memory go with them and soon he won’t be able to remember his own identity unless he can figure out what or who is causing this to happen and stop it.
https//www.blclst.com/members/scripts/read/12598
A part of me worries about this one being a "mind fuck" script. Still, I might have been inclined to give this one a look if there weren't already a lot of strong contenders.
DeleteYou is kind. You is smart. You is important. Thanks for doing this, and congrats on Toby!
ReplyDeleteTitle: STORY TIME
Genre: Half Hour Comedy
Logline: Beatrix Belsley probably shouldn't be hosting a children's show, but with an earnest heart and three fingers of scotch, she teaches us that you're never too old too stop learning.
Link: https://blcklst.com/members/scripts/view/13545
A good pitch for the concept, but this one really isn't for me.
DeleteTitle: The Jaguar's Fang
ReplyDeleteGenre: Blockbuster Action/Adventure
Logline:
A paratrooper, a gentleman thief, and an archeologist are sent to rescue a missing expedition on the trail of a mythical treasure,or risk losing them forever to sinister forces bent on the same prize.
https://www.blcklst.com/members/scripts/view/6736
Thanks for the consideration and have a great 2014! :)
This is one of those "liked it, didn't love it." Is there a potentially good script here? Sure. Am I more interested in it than some of the other ones that made the short list? Unfortunately not.
DeleteTitle: DAGO HARLEM
ReplyDeleteLogline: In 1950s New York, the Italian Redwings feud with the newly-arrived Puerto Rican Viceroys, but as boys become men through brutal violence, both teenage gangs find out they have more in common than they thought as both sides suffer grave losses.
https://www.blcklst.com/members/scripts/manage/13860
Been fun twittering with you this year
I'm not really much for period gang stories. This just doesn't sound like my kind of thing.
DeleteTitle: When You Know.
ReplyDeleteGenre: Romantic Comedy
Logline: On the verge of his college graduation, a neurotic millennial suffering from social anxiety disorder follows his friend's advice on how to land the girl of his dreams in today's world of social media overkill.
https://www.blcklst.com/members/scripts/view/11053
Thanks.
I'm giving this one a bit of a wide berth in part because the social media aspect has me worried about any potential overlap with some things I do in TOBY. I think it's best for both of us that I not read this, even though the two stories are so tonally different.
DeleteTitle:
ReplyDeleteHome
Genre:
Suspense/Horror
Logline:
When a young couple moves into a new house they find out it is haunted not from the past, but from their own future.
Link:
https://www.blcklst.com/members/scripts/view/13838
Thanks!
I'm in the middle of outlining a haunted house spec, but the twist of the haunting coming from the future has me intrigued enough to put this on the short list.
DeleteCool, thanks for the interest and the opportunity. And good luck on Toby!
DeleteEXILE
ReplyDeleteOne Hour Sci-Fi/Drama
Series Logline
After human explorations into deep space have led hostile alien races to Earth's doorstep, an impenetrable barrier was devised to keep them in orbit. Stranded amongst the myriad alien races, a weary "bus driver" and other humans eke out meager livings until they can find a way home -- without opening the floodgates of invasion.
Pilot Logline
Ray Barclay, a wandering intergalactic "bus driver", struggles to find something to hold on to -- and something to eat -- until a mysterious fare to the Moon leads to a possible key to getting home again.
https://blcklst.com/members/scripts/view/12779
Sci-fi series like this are hard sells these days. I'm not really feeling this pitch.
DeleteCool to read about all the positive responses you've had to your script, "Toby is Now Following You", Bitter. Send the puppet my love. Hope you have a major breakthrough in 2014! Sucess couldn't happen to a cooler guy. Love your blog.
ReplyDelete- E.C. Henry from Bonney Lake, WA
Thanks E.C.
DeleteTitle: Submission
ReplyDeleteGenre: Action, Sports Drama, Martial Arts
Logline: When his mother dies, a gifted college wrestler moves in with his estranged father and pursues a Mixed Martial Arts career against his wishes.
https://www.blcklst.com/members/scripts/view/13556
Not really for me.
DeleteFair enough :) Thanks for doing this, though. It's fun. Happy new year!
DeleteTitle: THREE PERCENT OF NOTHING
ReplyDeleteGenre: Drama / Crime Thriller
Logline: A sports agent fears his protégé turned nemesis could ruin him by stealing his last few clients, so when the biggest name he reps – a Lakers superstar – asks for his help in getting rid of a young woman’s corpse, he reluctantly gets his hands dirty only to later watch his entire life unravel.
Link: https://blcklst.com//members/scripts/view/13761
I'm a sucker for stories where a guy is forced to do something morally questionable and then spends most of the film trying to cover it up. A lot of inherent suspense here. This makes the short list.
DeleteWow! A lot of great loglines around here. Intimidating.
ReplyDeleteTitle: The Inhabitors
Genre: Science Fiction/Fantasy
Logline: Four friends discover an antique that allows them to inhabit the consciousness of other people.
Link: https://www.blcklst.com/members/scripts/view/13478
Congratulations on all of the attention your script has gotten, Bitter. A testament to what hard work will get you. Good luck in 2014 and thanks for all you provide us aspirings!
This feels a little too sparse on details beyond the powers of the antique.
DeleteThanks for your good thoughts.
If Toby sells, will you still be bitter?
ReplyDeleteZombie Vampire Werewolf
Horror Comedy
Bentley is an entitled college senior on his way to Harvard's prestigious MBA program, but he becomes a zombie vampire werewolf and must instead avert a monster apocalypse.
https://www.blcklst.com/members/scripts/view/13453
The "Zombie Vampire Werewolf" feels like overkill, which is probably the point, but the potential for goofiness is kind of scaring me off from this one.
DeleteTitle: A Second Last Breath
ReplyDeleteGenre: Drama, Horror
Logline: A young woman struggles to survive and justify her continued existence after a plague brings her back to life, but requires her to consume human brain matter to maintain lucidity. A growing partnership with a non-infected human, and the burden of maintaining relationships from both before and after the end of the world as we know it make finding her way in a post-apocalyptic world a delicate dance. Do you always have the right to fight for your own survival?
Link: https://www.blcklst.com/members/scripts/view/8196
Hmm... sounds like another "grounded" take on zombieism. With a couple of those floating around already, it might be hard to get some traction on this.
DeleteWhat the heck! Can't resist trying the Black List again!
ReplyDeleteTitle: "Dying to Survive"
Genre: Dramatic Comedy
Logline: An ambitious young journalist, determined to let nothing get in the way of her publishing stardom---fights cancer, office politics and relationship troubles---only to realize that when all is lost---she'll write the story of her life.
Link: https://blcklst.com/members/scripts/manage/13863
Happy New Year everyone! Here's to success in 2014 for all of us!
Not really feeling this one.
DeleteTitle: The Karma Cycle
ReplyDeleteGenre: Horror/thriller
Logline: A young woman cycles through the minds of a serial killer's victims every time she's killed. She must figure out how to stop him before she dies once and for all.
Link: https://www.blcklst.com/members/scripts/view/3938
Notes: overall 8 on the Black List
Definitely confused by the wording here. Is she being killed by the same serial killer in her own multiple lives? Or when she is killed is she somehow in the minds of people the serial killer kills? And if she's living out multiple lives does that mean the serial killer is being reincarnated and seeking her out? Or is the killer staying in his same body and merely really old by the end of the cycle.
DeleteThis is one logline that could use some more clarity.
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ReplyDeleteTitle: The Abominable
ReplyDeleteGenre: Horror, Sci-Fi Thriller
Logline: In 1951, an obsessive naturalist searches Mount Everest for the fabled Yeti in order to find success one last time.
Link: https://www.blcklst.com/members/scripts/view/10676
I'm not much for the Abominable Snowman stories. If the logline hinted at a more compelling angle, I could go for it though.
DeleteTitle: THE EUNUCH OF NOTTINGHAM
ReplyDeleteGenre: Comedy
Logline: The Sheriff of Nottingham uses a potion to change his timid, nice-guy image in order to land his dream girl, Maid Marion, who'd rather be with the town bandit Robin Hood.
Link: https://blcklst.com/members/scripts/view/7279
Okay, it's another fairy tale reinvention, but I kinda like the idea of the Sheriff being a nice guy trying to play bad to win the girl. Not sure it needs the potion angle, but I can see this one on the SHORT LIST.
DeleteTitle: The Straits
ReplyDeleteGenre: Period Drama
Logline: While an aging Detroit auto baron struggles to re-capture the luxury car market in the aftermath of WWII, one of his employees, a black drill press operator, moves his family into a white neighborhood, sparking a confrontation with Supreme Court implications.
https://www.blcklst.com/members/scripts/view/13424
Not quite enough to make me overcome my allergy to period drama scripts. Sometimes they can make for good movies, but my experience is they're often dull scripts.
DeleteThe Heckler
ReplyDeleteComedy
Heckling antics break out between a fledgling comic and freshly sent-down Major League slugger -- disrupting the game-fixing scam of an eccentric bookie.
https://www.blcklst.com/members/scripts/view/4982
"They were their own worst enemies -- until they met."
I don't know if I buy into a rivalry between a heckler and a baseball player as being enough to build a whole script around.
DeleteCongratulations to you and Happy New Year!
ReplyDeleteTitle: AMERIQUEÑO
Genre: Drama
Logline: A young mother and her two children arrive in NYC from Puerto Rico in the wake of a family tragedy. Can they build a new life with the help of her exotic dancer sister and the new man in her life?
Link: https://www.blcklst.com/members/scripts/view/10399
Not really feeling most of the drama pitches this time.
DeleteCongrats on the ratings! Hope it leads to bigger and better, but not bitter things.
ReplyDeleteTITLE: Pop Hit
Genre: Dark Comedy
Logline: When a one-hit wonder singer-songwriter is hired to mentor the world's biggest teenage pop sensation, he uses the opportunity to secretly sabotage the bratty young singer's career. Think a contemporary AMADEUS with Justin Bieber.
Nicholl Semifinalist Script
https://blcklst.com/members/scripts/view/13867
I see potential. SHORT LIST.
DeleteTITLE: MATT GOES TO REHAB
ReplyDeleteGenre: Comedy
Logline: A celebrity blogger fakes an addiction and checks himself into rehab to win the love of an addicted starlet. Cocaine is a good way to get the girl, right?
Link: https://www.blcklst.com/members/scripts/view/11944
Decent logline, but I'm not sure it's good enough to displace anything already on the Short List.
DeleteCool, thanks. Any interest in checking out our suicide note?
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteSounds like TOBY is bringing you quite a following. Awesome news!
ReplyDeleteTitle: FIRE FIGHT
Genres: Action-Thriller / Supernatural
Logline: In the remote wilderness, a disgraced fire captain struggles to save a logging crew and a young girl, after discovering a blaze that literally has a mind of its own. PREDATOR meets BACKDRAFT.
2013 Page Awards - Semi-Finalist
2013 Tracking Board Launchpad Competition - Top 25
https://www.blcklst.com/members/scripts/view/13868
Wow, a second wildfire script! "PREDATOR MEETS BACKDRAFT" is a great way to pitch it. Not sure this one is for me though.
DeleteThank you for your consideration, sir. All the best!
DeleteTitle: AMERICAN ANTICHRIST
ReplyDeleteGenre: Supernatural Comedy
Logline: It's 'The Omen' by way of John Hughes when a mild-mannered kid inadvertently sets in motion the End of Days at his high school after discovering that he is the Antichrist.
Link: https://www.blcklst.com/members/scripts/view/7478
Kudos on the high ranking for TOBY! Appreciate you keeping us in the loop on your Blacklist progress. Allows us other poor schmucks to see how it's done!
If you can live up to the pitch of "The Omen written by John Hughes" this could really be something. I'm curious enough to put it on the SHORT LIST
DeleteTitle: Mirror Games
ReplyDeleteGenre: Thriller/Sci-fi/Horror
Logline: A brilliant game developer kidnaps all the suspects in his father's murder and delves into their memories using a program he created in hopes of finding the killer.
Link: https://blcklst.com/members/scripts/view/7898
Thanks, Bitter. Very cool of you to offer this. Happy New Year!
Not quite feeling this one. Feels like another "mind fuck" script that could get confusing with characters walking in each other's minds and memories.
DeleteI appreciate your consideration. Just a note: At heart this story is a revenge thriller with a whodunit mystery. Maybe I need to figure out a better way to incorporate this into the logline. I hope you change your mind about this one. Cheers.
DeleteTitle: THE CLOUD FACTORY
ReplyDeleteGenre: WW2 Romance
Log-line: Britain, 1940, and two women fall in love: one, a young, poor, American auxiliary pilot, and the other a wealthy, aristocratic RAF surgeon who treats her injuries after a terrifying crash. To be together, they must first confront their own demons, then deal with prejudice against women and homophobia.
Black List: https://blcklst.com/members/scripts/view/13870
P.S. Congrats on Toby & Happy New Year to you & blog-followers! Already 2014 here in Aus - off to a hot & sticky start.
DeleteYeah, Period Dramas really have a high bar to scale with me.
DeleteTitle: Dog
ReplyDeleteGenre: Horror
Logline: Young couple Delia and Zack accidentally summon Dog, an undead submissive who forces them to satisfy her need to be punished, or die trying.
Link: https://www.blcklst.com/members/scripts/view/12227
Points for one of the more unusual loglines, but I'm not sure if I'm interested in a Undead FIFTY SHADES OF GREY.
DeleteThanks. I never thought of that comparison but there's no such intent in my script. Here's a suggested logline from one of my blacklist reviews: "After accidentally summoning an undead dominatrix, two best friends must do all in their power to stop her from destroying everything they know."
DeleteAnd my favorite part of that review: "The premise is fairly simple and the writer wastes no time getting into the brunt of Dog’s destruction. Also, Dog is simply a cool villain. She’s disturbing, threatening, and dangerous."
LAST GUY
ReplyDeleteComedy, Romantic Comedy
A twenty-something guy who doesn't think he's good enough for the girl of his dreams finally gets his chance -- because he's the only guy left. A post-apocalyptic romantic comedy.
https://www.blcklst.com/members/scripts/view/13871
I feel like there was a notable spec in the last year or two with a very similar concept to this. Anyone remember it?
DeleteI also have to wonder if he and the girl are the only one's left, or if he's the last man on earth with other options for companionship. There's a definite difference between the two (to say nothing of the fact that one of those is similar to Y THE LAST MAN.)
It seems vaguely similar to "Passengers". That one's not post-apocalyptic, and not a comedy, but it sort of covers that only-people-left romance angle.
DeleteIt's just the two of them. Guess I should make that more clear in the logline.
DeleteI follow the spec market pretty closely and haven't seen anything from this angle. I was tired of post-apocalyptic movies being so dreary. Hopefully mine's unique or at the very least "the same, but different." If anyone does remember a similar spec please let me know so I can stand in the middle of the 101 and take my chances.
Thanks!
Title: Moon Station Two
ReplyDeleteGenre: SciFi
Logline: Stranded on the moon after a war between China and America destroys all life on Earth, an international team of scientists must overcome their own racial conflicts before humanity is doomed to total extinction.
Doh! And here's the link:
Deletehttps://www.blcklst.com/members/scripts/view/12129
Happy New Year!
Not quite into this one. Good succinct pitch, though.
DeleteTitle: THE STRONG
ReplyDeleteGenre: War Drama / Coming of Age
Logline: With visions of a swift Confederate victory, 11-year old Shanks wants desperately to join his father and older brother in battle. But he’s too young, too scrawny even to be a drummer boy, so he is left at home with his mother, grandfather and the family slave, a mysterious young man named Buck. Soon Shanks finds his courage tested as the horrors of war come to him and he must act on his own beliefs and help Buck escape north to freedom.
Link: https://blcklst.com/members/scripts/view/12808
Hate to end on this note, but the period dramas just aren't grabbing me.
DeleteIts still 2013 somewhere in the world, right?
ReplyDeleteTitle: The Iron Curtain
Genre: Political Thriller
On the day he proudly receives his U.S. Citizenship, Yura "The Iron Curtain" Krasnov, a well-connected former Russian Military Colonel and former CIA operative, discovers a Russian Government plot to kill the U.S. President-elect, the first naturalized President. He must evade a worldwide manhunt while solving the mysteries of the President-elect.
https://blcklst.com/members/scripts/view/13334
DeleteFigured it couldn't hurt to try
ReplyDeleteTitle: Deadline
Genre: Thriller / Detective Film
Logline: Strong-armed by six corrupt cops to wrongly classify a drug trafficker dead, a coroner fears the trafficker has returned when one night those very cops begin appearing on his operation table.
https://www.blcklst.com/members/scripts/view/13488