tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4706282221761427996.post4939577221460275943..comments2024-03-07T20:15:45.996-08:00Comments on The Bitter Script Reader: "We see" - to use or not to useThe Bitter Script Readerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16575166527272639709noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4706282221761427996.post-76867704934793480842014-04-02T07:12:40.715-07:002014-04-02T07:12:40.715-07:00What's wrong with this scene. Beside the fact ...What's wrong with this scene. Beside the fact that I am adding it as a comment. :)<br /><br />EXT. WATERWAY - DAY - MONTAGE<br /><br />Two YOUNG BOYS play pirates, rowing a small dinghy through calm water. The hollow CLUNK of the oar against the gunwale, RATTLING in the row-locks, the reassuring GURGLE as water laps against the side; the SPLASH of the paddle as it moves the boat toward shore.<br /><br />One boy wears a pirates hat made from a brown paper grocery bag, his makeshift wooden sword tucked into his belt. His companion wears a bandanna, knot to the side, pirate style. <br /><br />The boy in the bandanna rows while the other examines a map written on school rule paper, a prominent X marking the spot.<br /><br />The bow of the boat slides up onto the shore. <br /><br />The boys jump out and pull the boat farther ashore.<br /><br />They lift a cardboard box painted as a treasure chest out of the boat, along with a short handled shovel, and together they carry the chest into the tall brush near the shore.<br /><br />They kneel beside a hole dug in the ground and slide the chest into the hole, and begin pushing dirt onto it.<br /><br />The boy with the pirate hat tears the map into two pieces and gives one half to the other boy.<br /><br />They each fold their halves and put them into the pockets of their jeans.<br /><br />Beside the rowboat again, they brandish their wooden swords, making snarling faces.<br /><br />The boy with the paper hat holds his sword high in the air in celebration.<br /><br />The other boy does the same.<br /><br />Their swords meet and cross. <br /><br />The boys clasp forearms and silently shout their victory to the sky.<br /><br />They climb back into the dinghy and start away from shore. <br /><br />The boy in the paper hat is amazed by what he sees in the mist-shrouded distance:<br /><br />A majestic wooden sailing ship lies anchored in calm waters. <br /><br />A skull and crossbones flag flies from the mast.<br /><br />The boy in the paper hat smiles as...Dude Ostomyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06012359274148450879noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4706282221761427996.post-57033936880007387952013-12-07T14:46:11.606-08:002013-12-07T14:46:11.606-08:00I agree. In the case of describing a love scene on...I agree. In the case of describing a love scene on a bed. " On the floor we see two thongs thrown over empty wine glasses. Moving slowly up to the bed, we see two pairs of sexy feet intertwine as they rub on each other. continuing to move along the well tone pair of legs, we see a tattoo of a flower below one ass cheek as the other ass grinds all over it." What I wanted to do here is not reveal the characters face but let the audience figure out who these two people are. So if I don't use the " we see" then the reader might not know I want the camera to only focus on those specific part of the scene. Am I wrong?Newbiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11143078901120415557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4706282221761427996.post-83805469076387689342013-12-07T14:44:30.890-08:002013-12-07T14:44:30.890-08:00I agree. In the case of describing a love scene on...I agree. In the case of describing a love scene on a bed. " On the floor we see two thongs thrown over empty wine glasses. Moving slowly up to the bed, we see two pairs of sexy feet intertwine as they rub on each other. continuing to move along the well tone pair of legs, we see a tattoo of a flower below one ass cheek as the other ass grinds all over it." What I wanted to do here is not reveal the characters face but let the audience figure out who these two people are. So if I don't use the " we see" then the reader might not know I want the camera to only focus on those specific part of the scene. Am I wrong?Newbiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11143078901120415557noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4706282221761427996.post-2137438002181947342013-01-02T02:07:37.589-08:002013-01-02T02:07:37.589-08:00For the most part I can see how a writer's &qu...For the most part I can see how a writer's "skill" can be judged by something as basic as over using a crutch but if the content surrounding that crutch is excellent, than who is being lazy, the writer or the reader? Real decision makers filtering scripts for houses can be lazy as well and I for one wouldnt want someone that can't look past a simple repetitive word to be the one fielding my script. Avatar is filled with these kinds of crutches but no one is filtering a script written by the director so suddenly crutches are ok? Movie was made. If the story is phenomenal, "we see" can't keep it down. Practice proper format and worry more about great stories!! :)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16828311289348019715noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4706282221761427996.post-38036675495020529852010-08-30T12:31:04.385-07:002010-08-30T12:31:04.385-07:00Sometimes it can be a struggle not to write we see...Sometimes it can be a struggle not to write we see. But really, I think it's just lazy. There are plenty of words available to work around this description crutch. But coming up with a creative solution forces a writer to put a lot of thought into the action of the script, which for me at least is not the fun part. In the end though, if a script with a handful of we sees sells, it's not going to matter to anyone how unnecessary that phrase is.ScriptQuackhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16212452368048069778noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4706282221761427996.post-21428463282590047952010-08-30T11:59:52.018-07:002010-08-30T11:59:52.018-07:00Wait, so I shouldn't have "we hear" ...Wait, so I shouldn't have "we hear" before every line of dialogue?Patrick O'Rileyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04506105991750715896noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4706282221761427996.post-46247841151544623942010-08-30T11:55:14.139-07:002010-08-30T11:55:14.139-07:00"Beat" to me is useful if you don't ..."Beat" to me is useful if you don't use it too much. The only time I use it is when a character says something profound or shocking. <br /><br />Instead of writing "Everyone in the room sits around, mouths agape unable to respond" I'll just write "Beat". Then resume with the story action.<br /><br />But then again, I'm an amateur hack.Danny Chadwickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04317318550338695923noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4706282221761427996.post-41508969338829073822010-08-30T11:50:43.000-07:002010-08-30T11:50:43.000-07:00I completely agree. I feel when I read an action, ...I completely agree. I feel when I read an action, "we're already seeing" it, so it feels pointless. And to go off what Emily Blake said, every time a script points out to me, the reader/audience, that I'm seeing it, it pulls me out of the story, instead of letting me immerse myself in it. Besides, there are more creative ways of saying "We See" when trying to point out ONLY specific visuals. The Indiana Jones example could have been written with..."From behind, there he is. Fedora. Leather Jacket. Whip." If we already know Indiana Jones' trademarks, then all we need is that information. "Then, he turns, but it's... Not Indiana Jones (or Whoever Not-Indiana Jones character is supposed to be)." Imagery solved. And more interesting to read (though that's not even creative, but more creative than "We See").<br /><br />Since we're at it, what's everyone's thoughts on "BEAT"?The Jnowhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16706072961396012855noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4706282221761427996.post-34259422264657870432010-08-30T11:49:37.510-07:002010-08-30T11:49:37.510-07:00Coming from a new media/novel background I don'...Coming from a new media/novel background I don't like using "we see". Simply because it breaks the fourth wall to me. <br /><br />It make me feel like someone is reading over my shoulder and I need to scoot over so they can see what I'm seeing.Danny Chadwickhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04317318550338695923noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4706282221761427996.post-51148141581724756552010-08-30T10:51:11.885-07:002010-08-30T10:51:11.885-07:00Great timing on this post.. this just came up for ...Great timing on this post.. this just came up for a me a week ago.. it was a short, and it had one lone "we see". Obviously didn't need to be included, but I'm noticing a lot of open assignment/purchased scripts have "we see" more often. I almost get the feeling that some producers prefer more blatant direction. ie dumbed down for understanding. I'm not really a fan, but sometimes it's way easier to direct the camera with "we see", since camera directions are unwanted and hoaky, at least in specs.Peter Dwighthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01468813181562549863noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4706282221761427996.post-88150784933228777602010-08-30T10:42:35.205-07:002010-08-30T10:42:35.205-07:00What's your take on the three brad vs. two bra...What's your take on the three brad vs. two brad controversy? :)Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04657676486178007715noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4706282221761427996.post-5261651036117993552010-08-30T09:31:33.492-07:002010-08-30T09:31:33.492-07:00I don't like the "we see" stuff beca...I don't like the "we see" stuff because I feel like it puts a buffer between the reader and the action. Instead of telling me we hear something, just let me hear it.Emily Blakehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02163221455899041141noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4706282221761427996.post-21598162199985181632010-08-30T08:50:58.074-07:002010-08-30T08:50:58.074-07:00I'm with you, Bitter. I had the displeasure of...I'm with you, Bitter. I had the displeasure of reading "Priority Run" last week, and the writer even went so far as to describe a truck thundering past as "shaking us in our seats."<br /><br />That really took me out of an already cliched script -- we're not IN the world of the movie, we're in the theater experiencing Dolby surround. Bad move.Jake Barneshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01630288121554160502noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4706282221761427996.post-6159900545968527842010-08-30T03:29:03.913-07:002010-08-30T03:29:03.913-07:00(We) Hear hear.(We) Hear hear.Ceinwenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16282540176874559911noreply@blogger.com