tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4706282221761427996.post3210414277744829027..comments2024-03-07T20:15:45.996-08:00Comments on The Bitter Script Reader: LoglinesThe Bitter Script Readerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16575166527272639709noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4706282221761427996.post-62865754290536261982009-10-12T11:14:09.626-07:002009-10-12T11:14:09.626-07:00Christopher Lockhart (creative exec with WME) has ...Christopher Lockhart (creative exec with WME) has written extensively on this subject. You can find his tutorials on Done Deal, Two Adverbs and on his blog Inside Pitch.<br /><br />You can also join the Done Deal & Two Adverbs message boards and get feedback on your log from other writers.<br /><br />I also think Snyder's approach is helpful. His primer might be online. Check his site.Team Brindlehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11617273530412639059noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4706282221761427996.post-6387203174811337322009-10-08T11:48:16.320-07:002009-10-08T11:48:16.320-07:00thanks for the link to justeffing.com, those are g...thanks for the link to justeffing.com, those are great examples. I think the one about death sounds like a total rip off of "death with interruptions" though, surprised that placed well.<br /> Twallinger, thanks for your comments, I can see the point a little clearer. When I find a strong way to summarize the nature/impact of the force I will have a much stronger log lineattatthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01487637936929635130noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4706282221761427996.post-37899767718090594482009-10-07T22:23:05.720-07:002009-10-07T22:23:05.720-07:00Julie Gray recently posted up the loglines of the ...Julie Gray recently posted up the loglines of the silver screenwriting contest's top ten:<br /><br />http://www.justeffing.com/2009/10/top-ten-finalists-loglines/<br /><br />the top two are both short and to the point with a strong hook. the "pithiest," in her words. i don't know if this means anything but after reading all ten loglines, i want to read those two the most and not just because of where they placed.The Douche Guidehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02204302455988600228noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4706282221761427996.post-20451226596499725992009-10-07T21:54:06.678-07:002009-10-07T21:54:06.678-07:00I agree with your post. I did a similar post. Fo...I agree with your post. I did a similar post. For another perspective:<br /><br />http://cineacraze.blogspot.com/2009/10/loglines-dont-drink-kool-aid.htmlAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4706282221761427996.post-72255352718128448952009-10-07T13:16:31.811-07:002009-10-07T13:16:31.811-07:00I think the supernatural aspect is a large part of...I think the supernatural aspect is a large part of the conflict, as it hints at what form the conflict will take. You need to provide enough info so we think, "That's cool. I can see where the story might go."<br /><br />You say the force is ancient. Is there a specific culture it arises from? Egyptian? Mayan? Chinese?<br /><br />And what does the force do? Can it kill people directly? And if so, how? Or does it kill people indirectly, by making them commit some horribly graphic form of suicide?<br /><br />These details are what make your story different from all the other supernatural thrillers out there.Todd Wallingerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11308322697380268831noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4706282221761427996.post-29211289160805950312009-10-07T11:50:35.729-07:002009-10-07T11:50:35.729-07:00Thanks for the comments (I post as ATTATT), I agre...Thanks for the comments (I post as ATTATT), I agree is it totally vague and am struggling with how to effectively put it into words. I sent it over a bit wordy and rough on purpose to hopefully create some criticism and conversation.<br />I am not surprised that someone mentioned wanting to know more about the "force" but that is exactly the type of thing that seems to be vague in all loglines. As a supernatural thriller type story, does the logline focus more on the character and conflict, or is specific info about the supernatural aspect really important?attatthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01487637936929635130noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4706282221761427996.post-87509103276026578012009-10-07T09:14:32.881-07:002009-10-07T09:14:32.881-07:00Yeah, "violent, ancient force" isn't...Yeah, "violent, ancient force" isn't specific enough.Ryan H.https://www.blogger.com/profile/12772868175172789393noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4706282221761427996.post-71913580163375799052009-10-07T08:04:12.069-07:002009-10-07T08:04:12.069-07:00I like how you trimmed Woody's logline, but I ...I like how you trimmed Woody's logline, but I think he needs to provide a little more detail on the force. Seems like that's the hook of the whole story and yet I have no idea what kind of force he's talking about.Todd Wallingerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11308322697380268831noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4706282221761427996.post-78648001477824415862009-10-07T07:31:44.845-07:002009-10-07T07:31:44.845-07:00You know, I was reading Blake Snyder's chapter...You know, I was reading Blake Snyder's chapter on loglines from "Save the Cat" just last night, and while I'm not sure I advocate being a slave to the logline to quite the extent he does, I did find what he said ENORMOUSLY helpful both in terms of thinking about the logline and in terms of thinking about the story. So I'd recommend reading that to anyone with logline questions, certainly.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com