Thursday, January 2, 2014

My Top 4 Selections from the Submitted Black List loglines

I dug through each and every logline that was submitted on Tuesday (and left comments on each one, so be sure to check those out) and ended up with 12 loglines on my short list.  After careful consideration, I made my Top 4 selections.  I will read the first 15 pages of each of those scripts, in the hopes that at least a few of them will compel me to read the entire submission.

Any scripts I complete that I feel deserve a ranking of 8 or above will be reviewed on the blog in the hopes of drawing more attention to them.

Last time I ended up reading four full scripts of the eight I initially selected, so I didn't have any need to reach beyond the original eight selections.  However, in the event that none of the four scripts really keeps me going beyond the first fifteen pages, I may delve into some of the runner-ups, time permitting.

And of course, I encourage anyone with Black List access to check out these scripts and see if there's anything here that you like.

The Top 4 Selections:

Writer: Chris Drzewiecki
Genre: Contained thriller chock full of ghosts, sharks, treasure. All killer, no filler
After their boat is pulled to the bottom of the ocean by a vengeful entity, a Father, his terminal son and a deranged dive captain must find their way back to the surface while suffering from nitrogen narcosis and a boat that is steadily filling with water. “The Descent” meets “Jacob’s Ladder” on the ocean floor.

Writers: Jeffrey and Susan Bridges
Genre: Action
Logline: A disgraced Air Force pilot is given the opportunity to join a group of sky pirates, who use jet packs to steal millions from planes in flight. But she discovers the head of the organization has a far darker goal, and she must choose between the family she never had or a global nuclear war.

Title: Home
Writers: Sarah Carman, James Roland, David Veloz
Genre: Suspense/Horror
Logline: When a young couple moves into a new house they find out it is haunted not from the past, but from their own future.

Writer: Maxwell Heesch
Genre: Supernatural Comedy

Logline: It's 'The Omen' by way of John Hughes when a mild-mannered kid inadvertently sets in motion the End of Days at his high school after discovering that he is the Antichrist. 

The Runners-Up -

Writer: Greg Brainos, Joseph Stanton
Genre: Comedy, Dark Comedy
Logline: A young humanitarian bent on saving the world loses sight of his goal when he gets caught up in the big business of a for-profit suicide hotline.

Writer: Andrew Friedhof
Genre: Drama / Crime Thriller

Logline: A sports agent fears his protégé turned nemesis could ruin him by stealing his last few clients, so when the biggest name he reps – a Lakers superstar – asks for his help in getting rid of a young woman’s corpse, he reluctantly gets his hands dirty only to later watch his entire life unravel.

Writer: Thomas Serio
Genre: Comedy
Logline: The Sheriff of Nottingham uses a potion to change his timid, nice-guy image in order to land his dream girl, Maid Marion, who'd rather be with the town bandit Robin Hood.

Title: The Squire
Writer: Rod Thompson
Genre: Family Drama, Coming of Age, Man-Cry
Logline: An imaginative young boy enlists the help of a reclusive Iraq War veteran to accomplish four 'feats of bravery' that he believes will save his dying mother.

TITLE: Pop Hit
Writer: Jeffrey R. Field
Genre: Dark Comedy
Logline: When a one-hit wonder singer-songwriter is hired to mentor the world's biggest teenage pop sensation, he uses the opportunity to secretly sabotage the bratty young singer's career. Think a contemporary AMADEUS with Justin Bieber.
Nicholl Semifinalist Script 

Writers: Akil Goin and Kareem Richardson
Genre: Courtroom / Crime / Drama
Logline: An ambitious lawyer's heart, morals, career and relationship is tested when she's seduced and blackmailed into defending an old flame for her best friend's murder.

Title: Mom's Weekend
Writer: Tomasz Walkosz
Genre: Comedy
Logline: With aspirations of proving to the world they aren't some boring soccer moms, three mundane women travel to their kids university with the single goal of reclaiming their youth.


Writer: Chinaza Onuzo
Genre: Action Thriller
Logline: When a Mad Bomber takes a hospital in rural Kentucky hostage, Amos, an FBI Agent and a recovering sex addict is pulled back into the high stakes world of hostage negotiation and rescue.


  1. If she chooses global nuclear war over the family she never had, I'm pretty sure Skyjackers automatically gets a 10.

  2. Thanks for the nod, brother, and HUGE grats to the top four!

  3. Uh... so, what would she do with her family during the global nuclear war...? I somehow missed the dilemma in the choices she has to make.

  4. So close! Thanks for shortlisting us, though.

  5. Thanks Bitter! I hope everyone else gets a bump out of this too!

  6. Global nuclear war vs family?
    I'm thinkin' coin toss.

  7. Skyjackers intrigues me, too, but the potential for any number of plot holes and widespread implausibility seriously worries me.

    How have the authors gotten over the very real limitations of commercial jetpack technology - range, altitude (currently about 5,000 feet), velocity (as much as a guy in a protective suit can stand and still pilot the craft) and payload capacity (jetpack plus fuel plus pilot)?

    Or have the authors written that these millions of dollars will be transported around in 1920s biplanes, which fly so low and slow that jetpacks could actually catch them? If they have the money being transported in freight or commercial airliners that fly at 35,000+ feet and hundreds of miles per hour, how do they protect the skyjackers from anoxia, altitude sickness, frostbite and the turbulence of trying to catch up to them and latch onto the hatch at 500+ miles per hour? Because such extensive life support systems would add a whole lot of mass that must impede the operational efficiency, payload and range of the jetpack. Unless they're magic jetpacks that suspend the laws of physics and credulity...

    If the perpetrators have developed their own super-capable jetpacks, they'd have to start with deep pockets, so why steal? Why not just sell the technology to the world's militaries to make their tens of millions?

    I'm sorry to be a complete party-pooper here, but the team behind 'Flight' got absolutely pilloried by real pilots for the laughably incredible twin premises of a commercial pilot drinking on the job and a co-pilot too timid to take command.

    Will be very interested to see how the authors get around these problems, or if they're just gonna ignore them.

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