Sunday, February 27, 2011

The Bitter Script Reader BANNED from covering the Oscars!

BREAKING... This morning, the Academy Of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences denied The Bitter Script Reader a backstage press credential to cover the 83rd Annual Academy Awards on Sunday. The Academy's PR specifically cited that the reason was "We have no idea who the hell you are."

This is a clear affront to the freedom of the press and a direct assault on The Bitter Script Reader's First Amendment rights. It's just another example of how free speech everywhere is being attacked in these totalitarian times.

(If you live outside the 323 and 310 area codes, this joke is probably lost on you. Go HERE and be sure to read the comments for an extra dose of crazy.)

In defiance of that censorship, The Bitter Script Reader is exposing some dark secrets from the pasts of two notables connected with the Oscar ceremony. A forgotten bit of trivia is that in the 1999-2000 TV season, Oscar host Anne Hathaway and Best Actor nominee Jesse Eisenberg appeared in a short-lived FOX series called "Get Real."

The series has long been forgotten, as Nielsen research confirms that the only viewers to see every episode were The Bitter Script Reader himself, and confused members of Michael Cera's family. How forgotten is this show? I could only find ONE clip of it on YouTube.

Hathaway played Megan, an annoyingly self-centered teenager who probably made viewers what to smack her at least one an episode. Still, it was her first role, so we'll cut her some slack. Eisenberg played her brother, who was actually MORE annoying than her due to intrusive voiceover narration that either focused on the wonder with which he viewed bras (not a joke or a fabrication here folks), or such cutting edge 1999 humor like "Why can't I just disappear off the face of the Earth like Alicia Silverstone?" It was Eisenberg's first role too. Prior to that, he'd been most famous as the brother of that creepy girl from the Pepsi commercials.

It is a sad comment on my life that those details take up valuable gray matter in my head, while the education I was receiving concurrent with the airing of the series has largely evaporated from my memory.

In 1999, no one would have believed that this series featured a future Oscar nominee and a future Oscar nominee and host. Hathaway and Eisenberg, you can deny me entry to the Oscars, but you cannot deny your dramady pasts! Release my press pass before I'm forced to find actual footage of your work on this show!

If you support my right to cover the Oscars and want to be part of the rallying cry to uphold free speech and freedom of the press, comment below and let your voice be heard! This is the most significant front on the war against censorship since the Grammys refused to let Frank Sinatra speak the truth back in 1994!


  1. This Finke controversy is a snorefest.
    I want Charlie Sheen to host the Oscars.
    With a crack pipe and a thesaurus.

  2. Nikki Finke's ego is unnecessarily large. I'd say this would have taken her down a peg or two, but apparently she's delusional. She thinks she's the only person to ever cover the entertainment industry in the history of the world.

    Yeah, Nikki.... your Pulitzer's in the mail.

  3. Nikki Finke's rants and meltdowns this week have been very off-putting. I don't know why she has to have public fits like she does.

  4. I was planning to watch the Red Carpet show in hopes that I'd be able to use inductive reasoning to figure out which unknown face might be yours. Then and only then would I be able to crack an identity only less secret than Mystery Man himself.

    Damn the Oscars for ruining my plan to fill your mailbox with unsolicited scripts.