Friday, April 15, 2011

Friday Free-for-All: Random Thoughts

Random thoughts on this Friday:

I once read for an executive who legitimately believed that I Know What You did Last Summer was far superior to Scream. That individual no longer works in the industry.

Speaking of Jennifer Love Hewitt, I'm tired of all the bloggers who call her fat. You know they'd still give their left nut just to touch her breasts.

Related topic: wasn't Can't Hardly Wait an awesome film?

Further related topic: You seen Ethan Embry lately? Man, has he gotten huge!

My proposed coverage ratings: PASS, CONSIDER, RECOMMEND, and STOP - JUST STOP!

If a Republican on NBC had to be a front-runner for the Presidential nomination, why couldn't it be Jack Donaghey and not Donald Trump.

Occupational hazard of living in LA: sooner or later, you will make friends with an actress you first saw in the pages of a "lad-mag."

I haven't field-tested this one, but in situations like those above, I'm guessing there's no good conversational segue for "Hey, I saw your FHM spread."

I'd vote for Law & Order's Sam Waterston for President. Just sayin'.

I grew up on Comedy Central reruns of SNL and argue that no cast ever beat the Dana Carvey/Phil Hartman era. Shame they don't run it much in reruns anymore.

I have long subscribed to the belief that Linkin Park sounds like Savage Garden and Will Smith formed a super group. Listen to parts of "Crawling" and "In the End" and tell me you don't hear it.

When I was fifteen, my comic idol was Dennis Miller.

You know what more annoying than people who pull silly April Fool's pranks? People who just HAVE to tell those people, "Oh, you SO didn't fool me! I totally knew that was fake because it was so fakey-fake! I totally didn't fall for it because I'm, like, SO smart!"

The Lauren Graham apple story is absolutely true. I've spoken to witnesses.

Just so that doesn't start any rumors, the apple story is not in any way sexual.

Heck, even Law & Order's Michael Moriarty would be a better Presidential candidate than Trump, and we know he's nuts too!

I enjoyed Roswell when it was on the air, probably more for its potential than what it actually ended up being. I've not revisited since because part of me is scared it'll now play like a lame Twilight rip-off.

Also, never revisit the original Transformers cartoons.

Sometimes when I'm looking down my blog roll, I wonder who'd win in a fight between Amanda the Aspiring Writer and Bamboo Killers' Emily Blake.

Related to that, I'm pretty sure Ken Levine could kick John August's ass.

I once went to a book signing at the Grove just so I could meet Winnie Cooper.

On another occasion at the Grove, I saw an incredibly long line that wound through two floors of the Barnes & Noble and carried down the entire length of the sidewalk. The author in question? TV's Lauren Conrad. I don't have a joke for that... it's just too depressing.

I was recently disturbed when a casting friend told me about meeting a nine year-old actress whose favorite movie was The Dark Knight. (She apparently spoke at length about its themes and all the technical achievements in the film.) Then I remembered that my parents took me to see the first Burton Batman movie in theatres when I was nine... and my brother was seven.

Anyone who watches The Secret Life of the American Teenager unironically should be immediately sterilized so their idiocy maybe removed from the gene pool.

Someday I want to interview Secret Life creator Brenda Hampton just so I can ask her how she can stand to turn out a show with zero production values and redeeming value.

Yes, I'd say that to her face.

You need no further proof of the fact that the Parent Television Council is a group of publicity whores that do nothing but latch onto a trend than the fact that they pounce on Glee every week, but have yet to crucify the ABC Family Channel for Secret Life.

If I change my name to GE, can I avoid paying taxes this weekend?

Seriously, Trump?! Maybe Republicans really ARE that stupid!

Wait, I just remember that they love Michele Bachmann... they've LONG been that stupid.

90% of the scripts on Amazon Studios are incredibly awesome and on a professional level.

The preceding was "not intended to be a factual statement."

The one time I attended an American Idol taping, I ended up on camera.

I once suggested to my wife that when we start having kids that we should name our first son "Kal-El." She both (1) did not react as if I was joking and (2) did not seem especially surprised or disturbed by the idea. I feel I should be concerned about this.

I know everyone claims that Sharon Stone is a nightmare, but I met her once and she was incredibly pleasant and friendly to everyone in the office.

The first season of The John Laroquette Show was an incredibly funny and edgy sitcom. How is it not on DVD yet?

Winter's Bone has sat on my TV stand unwatched for three and a half months now.

As much as I'm glad there's not going to be a Writers' Strike, I was looking forward to networking on the picket lines.

If I channel surf and That Thing You Do is on TV, I will watch it.

Ditto for Bring It On.

My go-to karaoke gimmick is singing "We Didn't Start the Fire" without looking at the lyrics.

If Mr. Belding is at your karaoke bar, you're in the wrong place.

Film students - if your professor ever tells you that the class will be viewing WR's Mysteries of the Organism just get up and run. Trust me, you don't want to know why, but if you did you'd thank me.


  1. When i was visiting LA, a friend was showing me around and we spent a lot of time at the Grove. Not too far away from there was my first and only celebrity sighting, Nicholas Brandon. It made my week.

    I too put off watching "Winter's Bone" for a while, but I have to admit I was surprised but how much I actually enjoyed watching it.

  2. Ken Levine is actually a pretty big guy, so he could probably whoop a lot of people.

    My brother suggested we name our first son "Feedback Thudpucker" but my wife didn't get the reference and definitely didn't go for it.

    I had to be a "minder" at a network event and one of my mindees was James Cameron, none of the other minders would take him because they were afraid of his legendary temper ... and he was the nicest guy, to me, anyway. Loved him. Smart as hell. And he's a big guy, too.

    Dennis Miller was at the same event and was a total asshole ... I mean, completely and utterly ... his minder left him, and the stagehands and SMs were making anti-Miller jokes over the radios constantly. Everyone was afraid to talk to him because he might go Bale for no reason ... I was sent to ask him a question, since his minder had absconded, and it was known I had no fear, and he looked at me like I was a bug. A real jerk.

    This was before he came out as a raging neo-con dick, too. btw. And to think I used to watch his talk show, too. Sigh.

    And Miller is not a large man, small and skinny and looks about as breakable as a pencil.

    I like Can't Hardly Wait a lot, but also feel the same way about the movie Airborne, which is a silly movie about rollerblading ... but it sort of works for me, and hey, Seth Green is a funny, funny guy.

  3. Apart from the fact it looks like it was animated in a hurry by a team of blind beggars, has sound effects stolen from Star Wars AND Star Trek, and makes very little sense, Transformers totally holds up.

  4. Um, yeah, I'm a republican and I don't know how I feel about Trump. But I think any guy who can put up with Gary Busey can put up with congress. And for the record, when I was in New York, every single taxi driver I had said they wanted Trump to run because they'd vote for him because they're sick and tired of Obama.

    I doubt all those taxi drivers were Republicans.

    I, however, don't care for Trump's style for dumping his wives for younger versions.

    I wanted Rudy. I believe extremism in EITHER direction is dangerous. Rudy was more balanced. I was sad when my only choice in the end was McCain.

    I have other things too that involve celebs but since I'm not a writer, just someone who enjoys your blog, I'm not going to say anything.

  5. I live in NYC and can honestly say I don't know a single cab driver (and I know a few, including one who trains at my dojo) who wants Donald Trump to be President ... and I haven't met a single cab driver who hates Obama, especially since he's the first non-white President in, like, forever, and most drivers are non-white, though I don't doubt they're there, there's all kinds of crazy in the world. It's very non-scientific, surveying cab drivers, after all.

    Speaking of crazy, anyone who thinks Rudy is balanced definitely didn't do their homework ... Rudy's a nut and completely incompetent (and no, he didn't clean up NYC, that was PC Bill Bennett and his no broken windows policy, which started under Dinkins ... Dinkins also got funding for an addition six thousand cops ... Rudy took credit for it and booted Bennet after a year ... know where Rudy's last police commissioner is? He's in jail. Seriously) and really, all it takes is a little research to find this stuff out.

    In terms of extremism, you just have to look at Rudy's comments on National Security ... he's an extremist.

    It may seem like NYC loves Rudy, because he's on SNL all the time and at Yankee games, but he really wasn't that well liked ...

    And if you don't like Trump for having three wives, how do you justify Rudy's three wives?

  6. I forgot to add, all cab drivers hate the President whenever he comes to NYC, but that's because the secret service fucks up the traffic bad, so they hate every single president for making their day harder, it's not politics, it's about convenience. They hate Mike B now because he closed down some streets in Times Square for tourists and made their job a pain in the ass.

    Most political opinion usually comes down to convenience, in the end.

  7. I'm offended you're even considering the possibility that she could take me. She's like 12 years old.

  8. I don't know what the Lauren Graham apple story is about, but I'm pretty sure it involves her being a major A-hole somehow.

  9. "I'd vote for Law & Order's Sam Waterston for President. Just sayin'."

    Been there, done that. Remember the late 'Seventies? (Or was it late 'Eighties?)

    The guy who was President then? (Or was he just running for President?)

    Jimael Dukarter? Ring a bell? No? How about Michmy Cakis? A spitting image of Wat Samerston, in personality and political profile.

    But I wd. never vote for Trunald Domp. No way.

  10. I assumed the Lauren Graham Apple story was one of the million stories told to her daughter within a minute of airtime on Gilmore Girls. Seriously, that show took a spin at more pop culture references in five minutes than a single episode of Andy Dick's The Assistant.

    Watch Winter's Bone. Definitely better than you might initially want to believe it is.

  11. Joshua - It sucks to hear that about Miller, but I'd certainly heard he had that rep. I'm not sure if he came out as a neo-con or if he just had a total change post-9/11. I seem to recall him self-identifying as a Libertarian in the 90s.

    And you're so right about Rudy. Comparing him and McCain (ESPECIALLY pre-'08 McCain!), McCain was by far the more moderate. Rudy might be a more hard-core neo-con than Bush was.

    If we're pretending that Trump's reality show is in anyway a baraometer of his performance as President, then the Busey thing should be a black mark. His handling of that situation makes him a poor executive indeed. For three straight weeks, the men's team has unanimously said that Busey is a disruptive element and for the strength of the team, he needs to be removed. It's a poor executive who doesn't recognize and address an issue like that. That ALONE makes Trump a horrible leader.

    (But yeah, I get that he really keeps Busey around because the guy makes for good TV.)

    I admit that there's a wicked part of me that wants to see Trump make it to at least the first round of primaries. HE is the Gary Busey of that field of candidates.

  12. I never watch Trump's show, I really can't stand the guy ... but hasn't he declared bankruptcy like, three times or something?

    We should trust our economy to him, based on that?